i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
