sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
