I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
