just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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