I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Only a mothe r could love this liver
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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