Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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