S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
