with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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