we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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