Dual....:-)
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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