shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
