So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
