they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Every concussion has its silver lining
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
