That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
