how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
pop tarts are not kleenex
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
