how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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