That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
