I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize