...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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