she looked like the before picture.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
