so that wasnt chicken after all
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
