Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
