Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
