Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
