Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
