Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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