and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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