I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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