I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
