the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
