I'm jealous of your bromance
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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