Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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