i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize