I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
