So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
