In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
