We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
