Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
