I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize