I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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