I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
