My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize