is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
