i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize