My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
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