so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
