i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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