just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
