no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize