Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
