just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
