Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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