Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
