Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
