the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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