with your own penis?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
NoShamevember. You game?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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