ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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