well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
