Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
