dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
