it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
