Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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