brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
