Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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