He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
