I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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