he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
