Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
