does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
