i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize