This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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