Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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