My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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