I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize