This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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