there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i now understand why vodka
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
