JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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