Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
