Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
