So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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