I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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